Food-related words - can you tell the difference between....
berry - Any small fleshy fruit (including, along with the obvious, bananas, coffee, eggplant, grapes, kiwis green peppers and tomatoes)legume - the fruit or seed of any of various bean or pea plants consisting of a two-valved case that splits along both sides when ripe and having the seeds attached to one edge of the valves: So called because they may be gathered without cutting. (beans, peas, peanuts)
caryopsis - dry seedlike fruit produced by the cereal grasses: (wheat, barley, corn)
drupe - fleshy indehiscent fruit with a single seed: (almond, peach, plum, cherry, elderberry, olive, mangoes, avacados, dates - raspberries and blackberries are considered to be "aggregates of drupelets" (I think that this would be a very cute term of endearment - "come here my sweetie.... my little aggregate of drupelets...")
achene - small dry indehiscent fruit with the seed distinct from the fruit wall (strawberries, artichokes, sunflower seeds)
pepo - Any fleshy fruit with a firm rind, (pumpkin, watermelon, cantaloupe, zucchini, cucumber, squash, gourd)
hesperidium - A large berry with a thick rind, (lemon, lime, orange and grapefruit)
pome - A fruit composed of several cartilaginous or bony carpels inclosed in an adherent fleshy mass, which is partly receptacle and partly calyx, (apple, quince, and pear)
laconic - Short; brief; concise; succinct; sententious; pointed; pithy
"I grow laconic even beyond laconicism; for sometimes I return only yes, or no, to questionary or petitionary epistles of half a yard long." -Pope
ullage - The amount which a vessel, as a cask, of liquor lacks of being full
uxorious - foolishly fond of or submissive to your wife
cuckold - the husband of an adulteress
sesquipedalian - measuring or containing a foot and a half; sometimes humorously applied to long words
sesquipedalia - a very long word (a foot and a half long)
porphyry - A term used somewhat loosely to designate a rock consisting of a fine-grained base through which crystals, as of feldspar or quartz, are disseminated
mellifluous - Flowing as with honey; smooth; flowing sweetly or smoothly; pleasing to the ear
lemniscate - A curve in the form of the figure 8, with both parts symmetrical, generated by the point in which a tangent to an equilateral hyperbola meets the perpendicular on it drawn from the center.
nous - 1: (British) common sense; "she has great social nous" 2: that which is responsible for one's thoughts and feelings; the seat of the faculty of reason; "his mind wandered"; "I couldn't get his words out of my head" [syn: {mind}, {head}, {brain}, {psyche}]
Bathos - A ludicrous descent from the elevated to the low, in writing or speech; anticlimax.
Fane - a place dedicated to some deity, a sanctuary, fr. fari to speak. A temple; a place consecrated to religion; a church.
emend - make improvements or corrections to; of texts
Words whose correct definition is opposite or at least different from their assumed definition in typical usage:
peruse - to read or to read very carefullyfortuitous - Happening by accident or chance
fulsome - Offensively flattering or insincere, offensive to the taste or sensibilities
factoid - Unverified or inaccurate information that is presented in the press as factual, often as part of a publicity effort, and that is then accepted as true because of constant repetition
enormity - the quality of passing all moral bounds; excessive wickedness or outrageousness; a monstrous offense or evil; an outrage
officious - Marked by excessive eagerness in offering unwanted services or advice to others; informal; unofficial
Brevity is the soul of lingerie
- Dorothy Parker
The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity.
- Dorothy Parker
This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force
- Dorothy Parker
They sicken of the calm, who know the storm.
- Dorothy Parker
When you are a Bear of Very Little Brain, and Think of Things, you find sometimes that a Thing which seemed very Thingish inside you is quite different when it gets out into the open and has other people looking at it.
- Winnie the Pooh
Always watch where you are going. Otherwise, you may step on a piece of the Forest that was left out by mistake.
- Winnie the Pooh
You can't stay in your corner of the Forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes.
- Winnie the Pooh
Sometimes, if you stand on the bottom rail of a bridge and lean over to watch the river slipping slowly away beneath you, you will suddenly know everything there is to be known.
- Winnie the Pooh
Don't underestimate the value of Doing Nothing, of just going along, listening to all the things you can't hear, and not bothering.
- Winnie the Pooh
Never let your head hang down. Never give up and sit down and grieve. Find another way. And don't pray when it rains if you don't pray when the sun shines.
- Satchell Paige
Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons.
- Popular Mechanics (1949)
If you don't have enough time to accomplish something, consider the work finished once it's begun.
- John Cage
Follow your desire as long as you live do not lessen the time of following desire, for the wasting of time is an abomination to the spirit.
- PTAHHOTEP
A paranoid is a man who knows a little of what's going on.
- William S. Burroughs
Believe those who are seeking the truth doubt those who find it.
- André Gide
Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say, abstains from giving us wordy evidence of the fact.
- George Eliot
There are only two ways to live your life : one is as though nothing is a miracle, the other is as though everything is.
- Albert Einstein
The profession of music is lacking in horse sense, not only because the commonplace variety of horse is absent from its operations, but because parts of the horse are noticeably present.
- Harry Partch
Nothing that is worth doing can be achieved in our lifetime therefore we must be saved by hope. Nothing which is true or beautiful or good makes complete sense in any immediate context of history therefore we must be saved by faith. Nothing we do, however virtous, can be accomplished alone therefore we must be saved by love.
- R. Neibuhr
Big egos are big shields for lots of empty space.
- Diana Black
Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused.
- Anonymous
Anyone who isn't confused really doesn't understand the situation.
- Edward R. Murrow
As long as people will accept crap, it will be financially profitable to dispense it.
- D. Cavett
Don't be so humble, you're not that great.
- Golda Meir
Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing.
- Anonymous
Cheer up, the worst is yet to come.
- Philander Johnson
Children are natural mimics who act like their parents despite every effort to teach them good manners.
- Anonymous
Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.
- Anonymous
Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
- Albert Einstein
Conscience is the inner voice that warns us that someone might be looking.
- H. L. Mencken
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
- Joe Louis
Everyone has his day and some days last longer than others.
- Winston Churchill
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to someone else.
- Will Rogers
Everything's got a moral, if only you can find it.
- Lewis Carroll
Experience is a hard teacher. She gives the test first and the lessons afterwards.
- Anonymous
Experience is not what happens to you. It is what you do with what happens to you.
- Aldous Huxley
Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes.
- Oscar Wilde
Experience is that marvelous thing that enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
- F.P. Jones
Finally, in conclusion, let me say just this.
- Peter Sellers
Go away...I'm alright.
- H. G. Wells's last words
Find out what you like doing best and get someone to pay you for doing it.
- Katherine Whitehorn
Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
- Albert Einstein
Half of the American people have never read a newspaper. Half never voted for President. One hopes it is the same half.
- Gore Vidal
Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.
- Will Rogers
Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns he should be drawn and quoted.
- Fred Allen
Happiness is just an illusion caused by the temporary absence of reality.
- Anonymous
Happiness: An agreeable sensation arising from contemplating the misery of another.
- Anonymous
He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever.
- Chinese proverb
He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.
- Nietzsche
History will be kind to me for I intend to write it.
- Winston Churchill
I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
- Thomas Edison
I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.
- Winston Churchill
I'm sorry, but I never apologise.
- K. Blake
I like the word 'indolence'. It makes my laziness seem classy.
- Bern Williams
I never think of the future. It comes soon enough.
- Albert Einstein
I still live.
- Daniel Webster's last words
I think, therefore I am -- I think.
- Howard Schneider
If all the world's a stage, I want to operate the trap door.
- Paul Beatty
If I seem to give a damn, please tell me. I would hate to be giving the wrong impression.
- Haythum R. Khalid
If ignorance is bliss, why aren't there more happy people?
- Anonymous
Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.
- Wendell Johnson
Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.
- Robert A. Heinlein
Dogs come when they're called. Cats take a message and get back to you.
- Missy Dizick
If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people He gave it to.
- Dorothy Parker
Delusions of grandeur make me feel a lot better about myself.
- Jane Wagner
Someday we'll look back on this moment and plow into a parked car.
- Evan Davis
My mother buried three husbands, and two of them were just napping.
- Rita Rudner
Have you noticed? Anyone going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a moron.
- George Carlin
Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps.
- Emo Phillips
The stars have not dealt me the worst they could do:
My pleasures are plenty, my troubles are two.
But oh, my two troubles they reave me of rest,
The brains in my head and the heart in my breast.
Oh grant me the ease that is granted so free,
The birthright of multitudes, give it to me,
That relish their victuals and rest on their bed
With flint in the bosom and guts in the head.
- A.E. Housman
Ode To A Baby
A bit of talcum
Is always walcum.
- Ogden Nash
The Shrimp
A shrimp who sought his lady shrimp
Could catch no glimpse
Not even a glimp.
At times, translucence
Is rather a nuisance.
- Ogden Nash
My Dream
This is my dream,
It is my own dream,
I dreamt it.
I dreamt that my hair was kempt.
Then I dreamt that my true love unkempt it.
- Ogden Nash
Samson Agonistes
I test my bath before I sit,
And I'm always moved to wonderment
That what chills the finger not a bit
Is so frigid upon the fundament.
- Ogden Nash
Reflection on a Wicked World
Purity
Is obscurity.
- Ogden Nash
See the happy moron,
He doesn't give a damn.
I wish I were a moron,
My God! Perhaps I am!
- Dorothy Parker
Resume
Razors pain you
Rivers are damp
Acids stain you
And drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren't lawful
Nooses give
Gas smells awful
You might as well live.
- Dorothy Parker
Unfortunate Coincidence
By the time you swear you're his
Shivering, sighing
And he swears his love for you is
Infinite, undying
Lady, make a note of this
One of you is lying
- Dorothy Parker
I'm never going to be famous. My name will never be writ large on the roster of Those Who Do Things. I don't do any thing. Not one single thing. I used to bite my nails, but I don't even do that any more.
- Dorothy Parker
Symptom Recital
I do not like my state of mind
I'm bitter, querulous, unkind.
I hate my legs, I hate my hands,
I do not yearn for lovelier lands.
I dread the dawn's recurrent light
I hate to go to bed at night.
I snoot at simple, earnest folk.
I cannot take the gentlest joke.
I find no peace in paint or type.
My world is but a lot of tripe.
I'm disillusioned, empty-breasted.
For what I think, I'd be arrested.
I am not sick, I am not well.
My quondam dreams are shot to hell.
My soul is crushed, my spirit sore
I do not like me any more.
I cavil, quarrel, grumble, grouse.
I ponder on the narrow house.
I shudder at the thought of men....
I'm due to fall in love again.
- Dorothy Parker
Inscription for the Ceiling of a Bedroom
Daily dawns another day
I must up, to make my way.
Though I dress and drink and eat,
Move my fingers and my feet,
Learn a little, here and there,
Weep and laugh and sweat and swear,
Hear a song, or watch a stage,
Leave some words upon a page,
Claim a foe, or hail a friend -
Bed awaits me at the end.
Though I go in pride and strength,
I'll come back to bed at length.
Though I walk in blinded woe,
Back to bed I'm bound to go.
High my heart, or bowed my head,
All my days but lead to bed.
Up, and out, and on and then
Ever back to bed again,
Summer, Winter, Spring, and Fall -
I'm a fool to rise at all!
- Dorothy Parker
Comment
Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song,
A medley of extemporanea
And love is a thing that can never go wrong
And I am Marie of Roumania.
- Dorothy Parker
Inventory
Four be the things I am wiser to know:
Idleness, sorrow, a friend, and a foe.
Four be the things I'd been better without:
Love, curiosity, freckles, and doubt.
Three be the things I shall never attain:
Envy, content, and sufficient champagne.
Three be the things I shall have till I die:
Laughter and hope and a sock in the eye.
- Dorothy Parker
Men
They hail you as their morning star
Because you are the way you are.
If you return the sentiment,
They'll try to make you different
And once they have you, safe and sound,
They want to change you all around.
Your moods and ways they put a curse on
They'd make of you another person.
They cannot let you go your gait
They influence and educate.
They'd alter all that they admired.
They make me sick, they make me tired.
- Dorothy Parker
come-uppance
he trifled with his lover's heart
and when he came to call on her
(in her office on the 23rd floor)
although she was not very large
so cruelly defenestrated was he
- Catherine Jenkins
Pigeon Lake ON
If I were the man you wanted I would not be the man that I am
- Lyle Lovett
I grow laconic even beyond laconicism for sometimes I return only yes, or no, to questionary or petitionary epistles of half a yard long.
- Pope
Most men who are not married by the age of thirty-five are either homosexual or really smart.
- Becky Rodenbeck
To be stupid, selfish, and have good health are three requirements for happiness, though if stupidity is lacking, all is lost.
- Gustave Flaubert
If A equals success, then the formula is:
A = X + Y + Z
X is work.
Y is play.
Z is keep your mouth shut.
- Albert Einstein
If you believe everything you read, better not read.
- Japanese proverb
The way to love anything is to realize it might be lost.
- G.K. Chesterton
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
- Groucho Marx
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx
All my life I wanted to be someone I guess I should have been more specific.
- Jane Wagner
If something is so complicated that you can't explain it in 10 seconds, then it's probably not worth knowing anyway.
- Calvin
As a math atheist, I should be excused from this.
- Calvin
This one's tricky. You have to use imaginary numbers, like eleventeen ...
- Calvin
You can present the material, but you can't make me care.
- Calvin
I'm learning real skills that I can apply throughout the rest of my life ... Procrastinating and rationalizing.
- Calvin
You know, Hobbes, some days even my lucky rocketship underpants don't help.
- Calvin
Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in the mind at the same time, and still retain the ability to function. One should, for example, be able to see that things are hopeless and yet be determined to make them otherwise.
- F. Scott Fitzgerald
Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves... Live the questions now. Perhaps you will find them gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.
- Rainer Maria Rilke
If only we'd stop trying to be happy we could have a pretty good time.
- Edith Wharton
On the outskirts of every agony sits some observant fellow who points.
- Virginia Woolf
Each had his past shut in him like the leaves of a book known to him by heart and his friends could only read the title.
- Virginia Woolf
We must reconcile ourselves to a season of failures and fragments.
- Virginia Woolf
You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
- Homer Simpson
Distance
Were you to cross the world, my dear,
To work or love or fight,
I could be calm and wistful here,
And close my eyes at night.
It were a sweet and gallant pain
To be a sea apart
But, oh, to have you down the lane
Is bitter to my heart.
- Dorothy Parker
The Flaw in Paganism
Drink and dance and laugh and lie,
Love, the reeling midnight through,
For tomorrow we shall die!
(But, alas, we never do.)
- Dorothy Parker
Theory
Into love and out again,
Thus I went, and thus I go.
Spare your voice, and hold your pen-
Well and bitterly I know
All the songs were ever sung,
All the words were ever said
Could it be, when I was young,
Some one dropped me on my head?
- Dorothy Parker
Two-Volume Novel
The sun's gone dim, and
The moon's turned black
For I loved him, and
He didn't love back.
- Dorothy Parker
Social Note
Lady, lady, should you meet
One whose ways are all discreet,
One who murmurs that his wife
Is the lodestar of his life,
One who keeps assuring you
That he never was untrue,
Never loved another one . . .
Lady, lady, better run!
- Dorothy Parker
Faute de Mieux
Travel, trouble, music, art,
A kiss, a frock, a rhyme-
I never said they feed my heart,
But still they pass my time.
- Dorothy Parker
It's healthy now and then to hang a question mark on things you've long taken for granted.
- Bertrand Russell
The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.
- Bertrand Russell
I like to have a martini,
Two at the very most.
After three I'm under the table,
After four I'm under my host!
- Dorothy Parker
Miss Hepburn runs the gamut of emotions from A to B.
- Dorothy Parker
In a 1933 review of the play 'The Lake' starring Katherine Hepburn
It's a small apartment, I've barely enough room to lay my hat and a few friends.
- Dorothy Parker
I'm a Frisbeetarian. We worship frisbees. We believe when you die your soul goes up on the roof and you can't get it down.
- Jim Stafford
When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries of life disappear and life stands explained.
- Mark Twain
Wagner's music is better than it sounds.
- Mark Twain
I am astounded ... at the wonderful power you have developed - and terrified at the thought that so much hideous and bad music may be put on record forever.
Composers should write tunes that chauffeurs and errand boys can whistle.
No good opera plot can be sensible, for people do not sing when they are feeling sensible.
I have just been all round the world and have formed a very poor opinion of it.
Try everything once except folk dancing and incest.
I worry that the person who thought up Muzak may be thinking up something else.
Wish I was an English Muffin
May you live all the days of your life
Seriousness is the only refuge of the shallow.
I go from stool to stool in singles bars hoping to get lucky, but there's never any gum under any of them.
I used to be so much more open-minded
Faute de mieux Travel, Trouble, music, art,
After a Spanish Proverb Oh, mercifullest one of all, How swift, in pure compassion, Oh, gentle word, and sweetest said!
It doesn't take me long to get nothing done.
Well I wish you'd just tell me rather than try to engage my enthusiasm.
Life, loathe it or ignore it, you can't like it.
Why should I want to make anything up? Life's bad enough as it is without wanting to invent any more of it.
The right to search for truth implies also a duty: one must not conceal any part of what one has recognized to be true.
What do you get when you kiss a girl?
Two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity. And I'm not sure about the universe.
I am happy to think that there will be no difficulty in finding plenty of people whose loss will be a distinct gain to society at large.
There was a time when I had all the answers. My real growth began when I discovered that the questions to which I had the answers were not the important questions.
Romance is dead. It was acquired in a hostile takeover by Hallmark and Disney, homogenized, and sold off, piece by piece.
And of course, the one thing we should have all learned as children is that if there's something you want with all of your heart, with every fibre of your being, you're certain not to get it.
See, sometimes, the mind, for reasons we don't necessarily understand, just goes to the store for a quart of milk.
Her singing reminds me of a cart coming downhill with the brake on.
The sound of a harpsichord - two skeletons copulating on a tin roof in a thunderstorm.
Harpists spend ninety percent of their lives tuning their harps and ten percent playing out of tune.
Mozart died too late rather than too soon.
Beethoven always sounds to me like the upsetting of a bag of nails, with here and there also a dropped hammer.
Art is long and life is short here is evidently the explanation of a Brahms symphony.
I love Wagner, but the music I prefer is that of a cat hung up by its tail outside a window and trying to stick to the panes of glass with its claws.
If the reader were so rash as to purchase any of Bela Bartok's compositions, he would find that they each and all consist of unmeaning bunches of notes, apparently representing the composer promenading the keyboard in his boots. Some can be played better with the elbows, others with the flat of the hand. None require fingers to perform or ears to listen too.
In the first movement alone, I took note of six pregnancies and at least four miscarriages.
What can you do with it? It's like a lot of yaks jumping about.
Sir Thomas Beecham was once asked if he had played any Stockhausen.
Rossini would have been a great composer if his teacher had spanked him enough on his backside.
Anton Bruckner wrote the same symphony nine times, trying to get it just right. He failed.
Schoenberg is too melodious for me, too sweet.
He'd be better off shoveling snow.
I would like to hear Elliot Carter's Fourth String Quartet, if only to discover what a cranky prostate does to one's polyphony.
Exit in case of Brahms
Why is it that whenever I hear a piece of music I don't like, it's always by Villa-Lobos?
If he'd been making shell-cases during the war it might have been better for music.
He has an enormously wide repertory. He can conduct anything, provided it's by Beethoven, Brahms or Wagner. He tried Debussy's La Mer once. It came out as Das Merde.
Madam, you have between your legs an instrument capable of giving pleasure to thousands and all you can do is scratch it.
After I die, I shall return to earth as a gatekeeper of a bordello and I won't let any of you enter.
We cannot expect you to be with us all the time, but perhaps you could be good enough to keep in touch now and again.
Jack Benny played Mendelssohn last night. Mendelssohn lost.
Parsifal - the kind of opera that starts at six o'clock and after it has been going three hours, you look at your watch and it says 6:20.
One can't judge Wagner's opera Lohengrin after a first hearing, and I certainly don't intend hearing it a second time.
I liked the opera very much. Everything but the music.
I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
I can resist everything except temptation.
I didn't think I experimented.
I do not seek, I find.
I don't know why I did it, I don't know why I enjoyed it, and I don't know why I'll do it again.
I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.
I either want less corruption, or more chance to participate in it.
I had always loved beautiful and artistic things, though before leaving America I had had a very little chance of seeing any.
zeal : A certain nervous disorder afficting the young and inexperienced.
It is easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them.
It takes a long time to understand nothing.
It takes great cleverness to be able to conceal one's cleverness.
May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
The greatest lesson in life is to know that even fools are right sometimes.
The price of greatness is responsibility.
Nothing pains some people more than having to think.
An amateur thinks it's really funny if you dress a man up as an old lady, put him in a wheelchair, and give the wheelchair a push that sends it spinning down a slope towards a stone wall. For a pro, it's got to be a real old lady.
If all the girls who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end---I shouldn't be at all surprised.
If the human mind was simple enough to understand, we'd be too simple to understand it.
If you are going to do something wrong at least enjoy it.
If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars.
If you can't convince them, confuse them.
If you can spend a perfectly useless afternoon in a perfectly useless manner, you have learned how to live.
If you can't learn to do it well, learn to enjoy doing it badly.
Imagination is more important than knowledge.
In my end is my beginning.
It is always the best policy to tell the truth, unless, of course, you are an exceptionally good liar.
It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit.
It is by the fortune of God that, in this country, we have three benefits: freedom of speech, freedom of thought, and the wisdom never to use either.
It was very good of God to let Carlyle and Mrs Carlyle marry one another and so make only two people miserable instead of four, besides being very amusing.
Perfection is what American women expect to find in their husbands... but English women only hope to find in their butlers.
One cardinal rule of marriage should never be forgotten: -give little, give seldom, and above all, give grudgingly - Otherwise, what could have been a proper marriage could become an orgy of sexual lust.
Before man reaches the moon, your mail will be delivered within hours from New York to California, to England, to India or to Australia by guided missiles... We stand on the threshold of rocket mail.
Nuclear-powered vacuum cleaners will probably be a reality within 10 years.
It is probable that television drama of high caliber and produced by first-rate artists will materially raise the level of dramatic taste of the nation
- Arthur Sullivan
on seeing a demonstration of Edison's new talking machine in 1888
- Sir Thomas Beecham
- W. H. Auden
- Sir Thomas Beecham
- Sir Thomas Beecham
- Lily Tomlin
'Bout to make the most out of a toaster
- Paul Simon
- Jonathan Swift
- Oscar Wilde
- Emo Phillips
And I used to like to fall in love
They tell me I was so much more sweeter and kinder
But once is enough
- Lyle Lovett
A kiss, a frock, a rhyme -
I never said they feed my heart,
But still they pass my time
- Dorothy Parker
Oh, generous as dear,
None lived so lowly, none so small,
Thou couldst withhold thy tear
How meek in charity,
To offer friendship to the one
Who begged but love of thee!
Oh, tender hand, and first
To hold the warm, delicious bread
To lips burned black of thirst
- Dorothy Parker
- Marvin the Android
- Marvin the Android
- Marvin the Android
- Marvin the Android
- Albert Einstein
You get enough germs to catch pneumonia
And after you do, she'll never phone ya
I'll never fall in love again.
- Burt Bacharach
- Albert Einstein
- Ko-Ko (from the Mikado)
aka William Schwenk Gilbert
- Reinhold Neibuhr
- Lisa Simpson
- Dr. Joel Fleischmann (Rob Morrow)
- Dr. Joel Fleischmann (Rob Morrow)
- Sir Thomas Beecham
on an unidentified soprano in Die Walkyrie
- Sir Thomas Beecham
- Igor Stravinsky
- Glenn Gould
- John Ruskin
- Edward Lorne
- Charles Baudelaire
- Frederick Corder
- Sir Thomas Beecham
on Bruckner's Seventh Symphony
- Sir Thomas Beecham
on Beethoven's Seventh Symphony
'No,' he replied, 'but I have trodden in some.'
- Ludwig van Beethoven
- Edward Abbey
- Bertolt Brecht
- Richard Strauss
on Arnold Schoenberg
- James Sellars
- Philip Hale's proposed inscription over the doors of Boston Symphony Hall
- Igor Stravinsky
- Maurice Ravel
on Camille Saint-Saens
- Anonymous Orchestra Member
on George Szell
- Sir Thomas Beecham
to a cellist
- Arturo Toscanini
to the NBC Orchestra
- Sir Thomas Beecham
to a musician during a rehearsal
- Anonymous
- David Randolph
- Gioacchino Rossini
- Benjamin Britten
on Stravinsky's The Rakes's Progress
- W.C. Fields
- Oscar Wilde
- Wilhelm Roentgen
- Pablo Picasso
- Bart Simpson
- Will Rogers
- Woody Allen
- Ashleigh Brilliant
- Emma Albani
- Ambrose Bierce
- Alfred Adler
- Edward Dahlberg
- Duc De La Rochefoucauld
- George Carlin
- Winston Churchill
- Winston Churchill
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
- Groucho Marx
- Dorothy Parker
- Emerson Pugh
- Leo Rosten
- J. Paul Getty
- Harry S. Truman
- Lin Yutang
- Ashleigh Brilliant
- Albert Einstein
- T.S. Eliot
- Jerome K. Jerome
- Harry S. Truman
- Mark Twain
- Samuel Butler
- W. Somerset Maugham
- Ruth Smythers
Marriage advice for women, 1894
- General Arthur E. Summerfield
U.S. Postmaster General, 1959
- Alex Lewyt
Vacuum cleaner manufacturer, 1955
- David Sarnoff, 1939